- Communication. They are not mind readers and they don't like mind games. Talk to them but get to the point quickly. They only want the key points - no embellishments. Girlfriends are for embellishments.
- Space. Give them time to be alone with their thoughts, their hobbies and their friends.
- To be hunters. Men want to pursue you. If you are caught too easily or pursue them, the loose interest - fast.
- Get over your past ugly, painful relationships. Give them a fair chance to prove they are wonderful, loving, caring and dependable men.
- Be open and honest. Talk to your man but do not approach him in a confrontational manner.
- Get a life. Develop a hobby. Develop friendships of your own. Start a business, go back to school - something. But get a life.
- Chill. If he does not pursue you, he does not want to be with you. This is non-negotiable and does not vary. Men pursue women they want to be with. They will do the majority of the calling. Trust me on this. Don't wait by the phone waiting for the call either. Do not alter your schedule waiting for his call. Let him leave a message but don't play games. If you're near your phone and not busy, answer it.
- Make a conscious, deliberate decision to forgive men from your past. Not forgiving someone and hating them is like drinking poison and waiting for someone else to die. In fact, you must may be the person who you need to forgive.
- Be the best you can be. Accept the package you are wrapped in but get in good physical condition (men are visual creatures). Get regular checkups, eat well and drink lots of water.
- Get your finances together; make a budget and stick with it or whatever else you need to do to get your credit straight. Refrain from beating up on yourself about past mistakes. Start from this day forward and get in right relationship with money.
- Enjoy your family and friends. You are truly blessed if a day goes by and someone misses you and calls or drops by to check on you.
Finally, ask God to send your man. Then don't just sit back, get whatever is out of whack in your life (if anything) straight, go to events and outings. Get out there and enjoy life. Rest in the Lord.
Carmin Wharton, Author
Lessons Learned: While Looking for Love in All the Wrong Faces